When I was a boy, I struggled to fit into the faith of my Dutch immigrant church. I’m sure my undiagnosed dyslexia was part of the problem—memorizing bible verses and the catechism came hard. My rebellious nature was also a contributing factor. But there was something else at play as well, something I’m just starting to see clearly now, 50 years later—an underlying system of over-control.
We called it “good order”. I don’t know when I first learned about it, but it was a phrase that came up early and often—God works through good order. Who was I to disagree? Yet, even as a child, I intuitively bristled. The order felt oppressive; at times, in the Christian school I attended, violently so. As I grew, I came to understand that everything was ordered: how we worshipped, how we prayed, how we dressed on Sundays, how we thought about the nature of God, and how we had most things figured out as a denomination. Because our church had done so much deep thinking about so much of what our faith means, the scope of our order was immense. Confessions, creeds, and catechisms. Philosophical world-and-life views. Ministers, elders, and deacons. Classes, synods, and agendas. Christian schools at every level. We had a good handle on everything.
And never was I warned about the idolatrous risk of over-control.
Not once did anyone teach me to be careful with good order, to be aware of how it can lead to sinning against the Spirit of God. Of course, large groups of people need to organize, and planning and preparing are good things, but good order also has a self-serving dark side that fools us into thinking we’re in control. We’d never say that, but we’d organize, manage, and be certain as though it were true.
While we historically debated deep theological matters and articulated great theological truths, we allowed the sin of ever-increasing good order to tighten its deceptive grip on our church.
And now, in our denomination (and I’m sure other denominations as well), it has stepped out of the shadows, taken over, and begun ripping us apart. Church order is now being used to tie heavy loads on people. Synod is straining out gnats while swallowing camels. So many of our faith communities are filled with greed and self-indulgence. Everyone is worried about the appearance of cleanliness instead of being clean inside. It’s almost as though the depth of our denial is what’s driving us to be so cruelly judgmental towards others.
All the while, few are willing to look at the heresy of their over-control.
Over the past year, I’ve been reading the book of Acts—a book that makes it abundantly clear that God's Spirit blows freely and where it wills—miraculously healing, gracefully including, powerfully freeing, providentially guiding, mysteriously making all things new. And yet, 2000 years later, we have built a church that idolizes Robert’s rules. And we don’t even blush about it.
We operate as though we know what we’re doing.
Last night, I attended a talk given by Angela Reitsma Bick, co-author of Blessed are the Undone—a book about the deconstruction that is now happening in the church. While I’d already reviewed her book, and had worked virtually with her over the years, I’d never met her face to face. Nor had I ever heard her lyrical, thoughtful, and storied way of speaking. Even as her topic was wrought with pain, her talk was beautiful. Her way of being communicated an unspoken hope for the church.
When I asked my post-lecture question—what did she think God might be saying to the church in these troubled times, and what might that say about who God is—she responded with a smile, “Hold things loosely,” and “God is faithful”.
I continue to carry these words. God is rocking the church for a reason. There really are times to build and times to knock down. The unsettled path we’re walking will be made smooth again. God is taking us somewhere.
As those of us who are ‘out of order’ are being forced to leave the church, I pray that the one thing we leave behind is our idolatrous desire for control and certainty.
And I’m hopeful for what a Spirit-led church will look like.
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